Mental anguish >.<

Ok everyone, tonight is just gonna be a philo. note.....one loooooong philo. note. I know have been going on a "being true to oneself" tangent, but for tonight, I'm gonna veer off into a totally different tangent....the area of relationships. I have had a headful of info from both other people and just my own stuff, so I needed to clear my head. Hopefully, this will help me and those of you who read this stuff. Note: This isn't really a "food for thought" philo. note, it's more of a "sorting things out that are racing in my head" philo. note. I still hope you get something out of this.



Have you ever met or known someone for a really long time? Like say....9+ yrs? You and that person are quite comfortable with each other. You can just stand in total, complete, utter silence and still feel as if nothing is wrong. You feel safe, warm, comforted, happy....you don't feel afraid to say anything to that person because you know that person will not judge you or say anything negative to you because that person has been in the same situation. Now....what if you don't want these feelings? What if, with this person, you don't want more than friendship? What do you do? Do you just live with these feelings? There are, it seems, to be only three routes to go here.
Route 1: Take the person aside and tell them everything, then go onto the next step.
Route 2: Don't say anything and let everything go on as normal.
Route 3: Tell them everything, but try to keep a facade of normalcy.
Let's now examine each route.


Route 1


Ok, so you tell the person everything, and you decide to go onto the next step. This is exactly what you didn't want, and you are also now stuck here unless one of you breaks the other person's heart. Sticky situation. If you are in high school, you are still maturing. A relationship takes time and effort. Generally, those who were high school sweethearts do not get married. In my personal opinion, this is because they never had the time nor the maturity to nurture a strong bond. High school, be you freshman, sophomore, jr or sr, is full of decision-making and maturing. Having to keep up with school, work(for those who have to pay their own way to college or who just want some extra dough), deciding where to go for college, extracurricular activities, keeping up with family...add a relationship on top of that and the stress level has skyrocketed. Also, a person is not fully developed, mentally, until their early 20s.

Route 3

This is being discussed next because it has the same theme as Route 1. Trying to keep a facade of normalcy is hard to do. I mean, once these feelings are out in the open, how do you go back to what was "normal"? The whole dynamic of the two of you has changed because, with the feelings out there, the rules of the game have changed. This also clouds the mind in making important decisions. (Note: the rest of "Route 3" examination is my sole opinion, and is not endorsed by any medical facility or doctor.) People who choose this route tend to either a) become morbid b) alternate between happy and morbid or c) just reclude into themselves. Letter a) is heart wrenching for everyone to watch because they want to help the morbid person get out of their morbidness. Letter b) can be dangerous because the toxins of the brain that release in moods of happiness and morbidness can quite easily clash, generally turning this person into a psychopath. Letter c) is even more dangerous because the person is so recluded into himself that he can no longer function properly. Either way, this route will generally cause pain on one or both sides.


Route 2


Ahhh...Route 2 is, it seems, the least of the three evils. First off, neither side has to worry about breaking the other side's heart. What you don't know can't hurt you. Secondly, if one realizes that this is just a blown up crush, there is not as much heartbreak, or there is none at all. For the one who is still "in love" it is easier to move on when he realizes that the other person is truly happy. For the one who was doing the crushing...this is just a memory and this person can still have a pretty good friendship with the other person.


Laterz!

Renwen