OK, so I have given a rant in a looooooooooong time, so here goes.

I am getting kind of frustrated with myself. I love the fact that I don't care if people like me or not. However, at the same time, I don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Kind of hypocritical, huh? Anyway, there's this person that just rubs me the wrong way, but I don't have the heart to tell that person how I'm feeling. It sucks. That's that, now on to another topic.

I had the most amazing experience at Catholic HEART Workcamp in Ohio last week. I met a lot of new people and....I LOST MY ROLLER COASTER VIRGINITY!! W00T!! It was great! I hope to go on more roller coasters now. The actual work part of the work camp was really awesome, too. I loved my workgroup(we all had the same sense of humor, which was great) and we each had our own strengths to contribute to the group. I was also the prayer/share leader during the week, and I feel like I can more readily open a conversation about God and other such topics while still keeping it on track. So, overall, the most awesome week so far this year.

In terms of 4-H, I am kind of sad about that. A very dear leader is going to have to stop leading one of my clubs due to health reasons, so I'm feeling kind of depressed. We're going to have a farewell party for her, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to see some of her afterwards.

Now, here's a philosophical discussion/question:

What does it take for a person to be considered a friend? I presented this question to some people and they could only answer with "I don't know." I then started to really think about it and looked over a note a friend put on Facebook about friends coming and going throughout life, to see if there was anything there that could help me out. That mission failed, in some regards. Yes, people come into our lives for a reason and then go or stay, depending on the circumstances and God's plan. However, what makes those people who come into our lives fall into the category of "friends"? I feel like most people I know are "friends" but they fall into different categories of "friends." Some friends I will tell everything and anything to, while some, I keep stuff to myself. So, world, please help me in my search for what qualifies a person as a friend.

Laterz,
Renwen

Now I do feel really depressed. Today was my last day in Radiology for my clinical rotations. Oh well, I think I might go back there for my month observation....of course, I'll probably be saying that about every place I go to until these next four weeks are over. Next week, I observe physical therapy. This one I have been big on for quite a while, so we'll see how I feel about it. Tomorrow, I'm back in the hospital for the Athletic Heart Scan. I've been at the hospital(outside of the classroom) so much this week, I feel like it's my second home. Woohoo!! I love my Health Occupations class. This is the best thing I could have ever done.

Oh dear....I feel, kind of depressed for some reason. I just feel like I'm on a totally different track than the rest of the people in my world. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm just realizing that I don't want what I thought I wanted for the past 2 yrs, or it might be that I'm just realizing I need to stop trying out what other people are doing and just make my own path.

I've decided(for the moment) to go into radiology as my career. I would go to Parkland for two yrs, live at Newman, then possibly specialize in nuclear medicine or some other sort of specific area. Very easy, I would be done in 3-4 yrs, I would be able to get a good paying job, with little to no debt. If I did physical therapy, I would be in college for 5-6 yrs, I would still get the good paying job, but I would be in a bucketload of debt which is something I quite honestly don't want to deal with. Oh geez, I can't believe I'm making this decision! When did I become an adult??

On the terms of relationships....I'm just saying to heck with it for the moment. Right now, I have more important things. Guys have rarely been interested in me like that, so I'm just gonna say screw it all and if some guy actually wants to try to catch me, then he better have a lifetime supply of running shoes, 'cause he's gonna need 'em.(this is something someone said to my piano teacher, which I believe applies to her as well as me) Also, to two of my best friends(one for the guys, the other for girls), congrats on finally coming out with it!(Now I don't have to cancel the wedding plans) Anyway, with me, if guy wants me, he will most likely know where I am and how to get a hold of me, so let him try to follow me. If he can't, tough luck and pull yourself to the side of the road so another guy doesn't trip on you.

I said in the above paragraph I have more important things than guys to think about. This is going to come as a shocker to a lot of people, but I believe I need to just stop thinking about guys and concentrate solely on what makes *me* happy. Thinking about guys makes me depressed and causes me to think no one in the world loves me and blah blah blah blah. So, let's see if I can stop thinking about guys. Oh boy, this'll be great! Anyway, I realize I need to concentrate on my schooling instead of guys. A guy will find me when I'm ready for the guy, so I just forget about it and do my own thing.

Ok, done ranting, see ya laterz!

Renwen

January, 2010. My first post of the new year. Short, sweet and to the point.

I am soooo excited! I was looking on my homeschool curriculum's message board and I felt this sudden rush of joy as I clicked on "English 11 & 12" because I will be a senior this fall!! I WILL BE DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL FOREVER!! Well, at least until my kids(future) are in high school. I'm also excited that Lakeland will be starting up soon. I love going there. It gives me a chance to get out and be with a bunch of people. One meets a lot of interesting people in the community college area. A lot of cute males as well.

Philo. Thought:

Why should we just like moments, music, general innocent pleasures in life instead of embracing them with as much as gusto as we can?