A while ago I heard someone say "The people that we are more prone to hurting are those that we love the most". For some reason, that sentence has been going on and on in my head. A friend of mine has been going through some mental problems, and my friend has told me a little bit of what is going on. My friend hasn't told me everything, mind you, but some things. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why do we always open ourselves up to those that we love, even though we know that when we open ourselves up, we are also possibly hurting those that we love? I'm thinking that this pertains to something that my friend once said to me "You know how to send the messages you want sent and also how to not send the messages that you don't want sent." If this statement is so true, as she adamantly proclaims, then why on earth do I feel like I'm lying to those closest to me? I feel like every day that I spend, I'm wearing a mask. I wake up, put it on, go to bed, and take it off. Whenever it comes off, I feel the depression, anger, fear, all the feelings besides happiness that I refuse to acknowledge during the day. It seems that I just exude happiness, never letting my anger show, never letting my sadness show, also hiding any feeling besides joy. It also seems to be just me. I talk to my friends, and they don't seem to have a problem showing others when they're angry, sad, depressed, etc. This might also be why my friend said that I know how to read people's feelings. The reason must be that I can recognize all the feelings that I refuse to show others inside the other people.


Ok, my philosophical rant is over. If anyone can make hide or tail of that, congrats! You are one of the few and far between that can actually read my 8-lane mind. :P

Laterz!

Renwen